~~~~~duhhhhhhh!~~~~~~~

Scene 1

guest : what flavour ice cream do you have?

me: Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, green tea and saffron

guest: You don't have yam?

me : No ma'am we don't. Sorry about that. Would you like to try something else?

guest : What about sweet corn?

me : No ma'am, it's only chocolate, vanilla, srawberry, green tea and saffron

guest : Haaaiyah.... what about durian? don't have also ah? what kind of 5 star hotel is this... etc etc..

**you can lead a horse to water but you can't force him to eat ice-cream**


Scene 2


me (in my chef uniform) : Good evening sir, how may I help you?

guest : I want some coffee..(foot tapping impatiently)

me : You may order coffee from the wait-staff sir. They'll be happy to send it to you at your table.

guest : You mean you're not a waiter ah?

me : No sir, I am part of the kitchen crew (indicating my uniform)

guest : ohhhh like that ah? You have durian ice cream ah?


****

I guess when it comes to guests, even at a 5-star hotel, class isn't a pre-requisite. There are the genuinely nice guests who come up to us and say hello. But they're one in a million. There are some.... ~grunts~ like

a) The dessert destroyer. He comes and mangles all the beautifully garnished petit desserts like a heat seeking missle bound for hell. *smash smash smash* and the cheesecake lies in rubbles as if Iraqi planes had dropped bombs on known American sites.

b) The hound. Sniffs at every dessert and picks it up and scans it with laser accuracy before putting it down again and picking up a brand new untouched one leaving her thumbprints as well as her unhygenic germs on the once immaculate dessert platter.

c) The I'm-on-a-diet. Asks about the desserts that are low fat, low sugar low carb low everything. I restain from pointing out the banana leaves used to underline the malaysian kueh and saying sweetly, "That would suit you fine Miss" Oh ans she also cuts the slices of cake in half (although they are already quite small) because they don't want to eat it all and don't want to waste it.

d) The Chcolate fountain fiend. He comes, he skewers and he messess up the whole fountain dropping blots of melted chocolate everywhere that is clean and on the floor. He double dips his wafer fans! UGH who wants to eat your saliva buddy?

e) The Late Bloomer. They rack up to the dessert line 2 minutes before closing time and ask, are YOU closing ALREADY? **cue the daggers from the eyes** Then proceeds to ask favours like, I want everything that's chocolate or I want fresh crepes and two chocolate mint souffles plus seven ice kacang with assorted ice creams.

f) The Takeaway Towkay. Although they are so well off they still resort to asking for takeaway from the buffet line.I shake my head in disbelief ALL the time when they request for takeaway. Or worse, they wait til you're clearing the desserts and ask for it because "You're gonna throw it away anyway right?"


Okay I've had my rant for today.... talk about kitchen confidentials ~laughs~

Au revoir my lovelies!