Blissfully Yours

Even you'd feel like a star walking up those brightly lit steps toward velvety curtains and hearing the thumpthump thump of music as you enter. Good morning boys. Bodies gyrating, hips grooving, sunglasses worn and half smiles bestowed on the cute boy passing you by.

It's 1am and it's just beginning to fill up. Everyone's there. Young trying to look older so as to belie their teens, older men trying to look younger so as to belie their impending second childhoods. The music is loud. Then there is the hellos and how-a-yas? to pseudo friends and kindred spirits.

Then I see him, deep set eyes, shadow of a goatee *be still my heart* and a smile on his lips. I chuckle at the young indonesian boy hanging on to him for dear life.

"What do I do? I didn't do anything and he's all over me" says he. Like you don't like it baby. He's cute and young and willing. Just have some fun-lah. The music is thumping. The music is loud.

I can see he doesn't want to. He's playing the role. Just like the one he plays with his straight family and straight friends. On one hand he's a good Catholic boy who listens to his parents and works in a shirt and tie. On the other he's a gay boy. fullstop.

Catholic gay boy. Oh aren't we a rare race? ~laughs~

He's confused with boundaries and comfort zones. Although both have their limits but the latter is self inflicted and one is happy to be in it because it's where we can be totally ourselves and not pick up our used socks from off the floor for days on ends. Why put ourselves in a quandary when we can just not push it and be ourselves. It's the same with his other boys. It's all done in secret. Liasons only known after the fact. After the deed. After the breakup indeed. "I break people's hearts" says he. You don't have to baby. You don't have to do a lot of things like lead beautiful girls, who will make excellent mothers, on a leash when you don't intend to go for the slightest bit of a walk with them.

The music gets louder and louder before it melts away into some unidentified 80s hit and then the lights come on.

We gather ourselves and get going, with aforementioned cute indonesian boy in tow. We send the boy home. The boy is hopelessly in love already. I can see it.