Don't kill me for being such a romantic...

You know you love someone when..

you look at them sleeping peacefully...and your heart melts.

you look forward to their kiss first thing in the morning and the first thing when they come home from work

you do things with them in mind so that they will smile when they notice it

you say yes to most everything they want to do, mainly because it's gonna be with you

you want to be near them just so you can catch their scent and it's so fammiliar drives you crazy

you think of what to get for them for christmas, brithdays etc etc but don't let on that you know what they want

you think of them a lot

you say you miss them through sms and really mean it

you care enough to let them grow into whatever it is they're destined to be

you can picture doing absolutely nothing with them and it's totally alright


~sighs~ Love you Bebe. Always have, always will.

This is me, now.

Whatever you max say, whatever you wanna think, Whatever you desire, wherever things might be at, I'm here. This is me now.

Just did it.

Cut my hair. Feels like 2kg lighter. Lol. WheeEEee!

Change of lifestyle.

So i've decided to quit smoking.... yeah yeah laugh it all off! All ye non-believers..

lets see how long this lasts...

hopefully not as long as my failed out-and-out attempt at going to the gym...

i'll keep you posted!

WaZZa the non-smokin clubkid

and it came and went.....

As birthdays go, i'm not one to make a fuss about my own. when someone asks me what i'd like for my birthday i'll say.. I don't know.

This time round was no different. Well I lie, it was mad because i had a day off on the day of days for me but then as it would be, i finally didn't get a day off because work was too busy on that day. So i worked til 11pm and had to postpone my birthday dinner til the next day.

Had a few good friends over for lasagna, garlic bread and cake. Colin brought some delicious beef goulash he'd made at college. yummo! Panya had to have a bit of a snooze after the feast.. heheheh

You need cake, even a pastry chef needs cake on his birthday.

Had the simplest cake ever. nothing fancy. Just good flavours. Oolong tea cheesecake with a digestive biscuit base and fresh blackberries.


Thank you all so much for coming (Joseph, Marilyn, Colin, Matt, Hussin, Panya, Andy and Hussin's lil brother too!) another day older and another year meant to be wiser.

Good food, great conversations and most of all loving friends.

p/s Got some cool birthday presents, 3 hats, yes i'm so into wearing hats this year! a disco ball on a necklace chain and ooooooohhh my new Sony Ericsson k810i which took these pics! Thankyou thankyou thankyou all *mwah* Warren loves y'all!

What's happening?

I don't like to write about bad things... sighs...

typhoons, earthquakes, friends of friends passing away, extended family members passing away, good friends being admitted to hospital twice in the same month...

really seems like the "natural" thing to say...and I don't want to be the harbinger of doom here but... The World is coming to an END!!

The sky is falling

The mothership has landed

The universe of our earth is imploding

and on top of all this... I have a friend and he is looking for a life man-partner... my friend is Extroverted/ Social, Funny, Intellectual, Loving, Romantic, Serious, normal, cute with glasses, 32y/o, chinese so if any of you boys are interested in a relationship with him, send me an email! ;-) His criteria for a life partner : Normal, Not more than 10kg of excess emotional baggage, meaty, around his age but younger is fine, who loves the normal things like going out, staying in, movies, dining out, cooking, no mui mui chai, no guys who are too thin, no guys who are way older than him.

My personal opinion? he'd make a great boyfriend in the long term if ou click.

GOSH...what am I? some kind of blogging personals?... ~grins~

On another note...tomorrow is the AMERICAN IDOL FINALS!!!!!... GO GO GO Archie!!!

Quote of the year!

"Never explain yourself to anyone because the person who likes you doesn't
need it , and the person who dislikes you wont believe it....."

that's so true..sighs..

Powered by ScribeFire.

Dreams..

A dream is a wish your heart makes,
when you're fast asleep,
in dreams you can lose your heartaches
whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come shining through
No matter how your heart is feeling i
f you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

I've been having dreams lately, dreams of getting promoted, dreams of opening my own business, dreams of settling my debts, dreams of living the simple life, dreams of living a fabulous life. Of all these I would settle for a life that is happy and contented but knowing human nature, we would want more.

Someone told me his wishes and dreams in the next ten years, most of which include material possessions (new car, new phone, new washing machine, new house) or the upgrading of the aforementioned material possessions. If you ask me, I'm pretty happy with what I have and pretty contented with the fact that I can't have certain things. Does that mean I've become so comfortable, so boxed in, so blase about my life? I believe that I'm an over achiever with an serious case of procrastination. So this means I am happy putting off getting that new laptop, or doing the basic costings for my business.

I have dreams. Just because I don't tell them to the world doesn't mean they're less real.

I guess maybe you've got to share your dreams with someone because you can't go it alone all the time.



...and he said, "If a better dream comes along, why not dream it?" ~ Marc Gareth

WTF have I been doing?

Absolutely everything.

in the 2 weeks that streamyx decided to bail on us and the people at TMNET decided to "report that you are quite angry" that my internet services were cut abruptly and not connected after a day but after two berloody long weeks I have had non-internet time.

It was horrible

It was enlightening

It gave me much more time.

So WTF was I up to?

Well.... there was our White Party Purity is the new Evil White is the new Black housewarming party where people came bedecked in white white white and it was good. Feeling was awesome having friends over oohing and aahing over our new pad. It was a success in my mind. People, food, drinks and the sprinkling of controlled susbtances made for a very engaging party.

People did their thang, some hung out at the kitchen where the cockpit for our space brownies were. Some hung out at the balcony amidst the soft tinkling of our wind chime which is meant to bring us luck. Some chose to stay in my sisters room outplaying each other on Computer Boggle and Computer Readers Digest Word Power. Like I said your own thang. We skidaddled out before midnight and made our way to the clubs. Had an "oh-what-a-rush" night with the shiny happy people that we are. Ah bliss...

Then there was the Long labourdayweekend. Parties stretched from Saturday to Tuesday and me and my beloved managed to hole ourselves in Traders Hotel and thank you for the chupa chup on the bath towel what a cute touch! on a great rate so we could enjoy each other and enjoy how high we could soar up in the skies. Sleaze Ball by princeworld was fantastic. Had an amazing time and an unforgettable honeymoon with my bebe. The room in traders was beautiful and had plenty of photo ops there hahaha! Felix was snapping so many pictures on his 3.2 megapixel camera phone.


Then there was the cake orders to be done. Big time baby! McDonald's 25th Anniversary Cake! Cause after all these years, we're still lovin it! Thanks to Joseph's connections we got this gig and hopefully will stamp our mark and get more orders. Hmm gotta get name cards printed out and fast! Then there are the Mothers Day cakes to do and then there is a wedding cake for my ex-colleague to be sent to Terengganu. so many orders..no lah not that much but it needs to be coordinated well so as not to clash with my high flying career as a pastry cook... yeah right! ~grin~

OHHHHHHHHHH! and yes... I've joined the ranks of the straight-gay imbalanced peoples by joining the gym. Cali Fitness the Mecca of Gayboys in the heart of KL. Platinum member somemore. ~grin~ and a personal trainer whom is I think in my mind being kind to a 30y/o faggot hahahaha! i'll show him I'm tough as nails. at least after he gets through with me! hahaha!

I'm not joining the gym to show off my body and be vain for others sake, I'm doing it for health!!! and my own vanity's sake. And if I get to build more stamina from it then hallelujah!!

I have this theory that if I've got a gorgeous or even semi gorgeous body that I will be a slut. Loose cannon, boycunt... just like Nelly and Timbaland were singing about but then hell I was 29 and you KNOW what that means...and I've got the sleek black "SLUT" dogtag to prove it. Courtesy of Derek and Colin :-) I am not a slut, I don't think I have more sex with arbitrarily chosen strangers more than the next person. I have values and principles. **say it with me Derek : And if You don't like them I have others!**

WTF have I been doing? Party party party.. that's me... danceDANCEdance.

Seems like a preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty small universe i'm living in but I'm contented at the moment. Hey let the ex-fat but still chubby gayboy who didn't have a wild young life a chance. I'm catching up. But even better, I know when to pull back and be the adult that I was ever since I turned 9.

POTD Picture of The Day:

The freedom of choice, do you choose to eat from the forbidden fruit? Do you Choose to Share the intimate innate raw guilt ridden satisfaction of tasting the Apple? Do you?

My year in short.

So here tis, my year in short 2006, one paragraph from each month of my blog last year and you have it, a summary of my year.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Change is good...?

Whenever it takes his fancy, that is to say, when the hotel isn't busy and there are no functions, my esteemed executive chef feels the need to change the menu for new more exciting things. It should come as no surprise to me anymore but I still get flustered by the changes.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Not Here; Leave a note.

Last week :
Colin: You're off today? What's your plans?
Me: Clean up my house, do the laundry, sleep..
Colin: Update your blog?

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Last call at the bar.

There's an old lady mopping up the floor
spills from the whole night gone in a flash
Chairs are upturned onto tables
Ashtrays cleaned and stacked up neatly on the service station
The show's over
All the glitter swept away with the dust
All the excitement flushed down with used tissue paper

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Today

Today I baked a chocolate cake
Today I went to the gym and got a 30day free trial.
Today I moved out of an old situation into the unknown
Today I thank the heavens for great friends and good home-cooked food
Today I look back for the last time
Today for you, Tommorow for me.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Enter The Dragon

With one month to prepare and of it two weeks to conceptualise, a week and a half to do all the icing sugar filigree piping, cutting out of pastillage and three intense days(of absolutely no more than 1/2 hours sleep in 60 hours) to bring the cake together. It all was worth it. Here is the Gold Medal Winner Entry for Class 4: Wedding Cakes, for the MIBC Challenge 2006. (A pastry competition held here in KL). Bagged by shangri-la Hotel's Pastry 2nd Commis, Me!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Question: So how was Bangkok?

Answer:

Meandering between wakefulness and the dreamy-verse, I find myself transported to where perfect-easy smiles reign, with go-go boys in tight cut-off jeans, to where everyday is Christmas and every night is New Years Eve and where Excess is the order of the day

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Homeward Bound

Going home, home on the range, where the deers and the antelopes are play,
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, cause uhm..the deers and the antelopes are GAY!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Who is gay on Sesame Street?

~sung to the theme song of Sesame Street~

Sunny days, chasing the clouds away,

On my way to where the air is sweet

Can you tell me who is gay?

Who is gay on Sesame Street?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I have nothing to wear!! - says he.

Every friday saturday or sunday, most gay boys all around KL are thinking that.
What'll I wear to the clubs?
Should I wear my AX grey longsleeved fitted tee-shirt?
should I wear my Philosophy "I love italia" singlet?
should I wear that oh-so- slimming black button down shirt with the bling bling detail?
should I wear the bright red tee with the words "You call me a cocksucker like it's a bad thing" on it?

October, 2006

no posts for a whole month.... which is why the next month's post was...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Oh Blogger, Where Art Thou?

Went to the Nokia L'amour Series 2 collection launch, had a great time, free flowing whiskey sours for me! Oh and I won a new phone! muahahahaha! For being one of the best dressed!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Christmas Daze

Worlds collided! The sanctity of what is and what is not changed bearing. Life as I knew it came crashing down upon me on that night of nights.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy Noo Yeah!

There was so much love in the club. We were mostly loved up dancing and flying to the high powered excellent music provided by DJ's David K and Princess Ann. Excellent music by excellent DJ's, I sometimes wonder why they bother bringing in international DJs if they spin music that suxx eggs.





So that's my year January 2006 to January 2007.

Wow talk about not finding anything to write about eh?

WaZZa is O.U.T!

Oh and by the way, I'm Friendstered apparently!

www. friendster.com/boredhappy

Checkit out.

:-)

My adult friends and I.

We had a little reunion of the KDU Class of 2001 School of H&T, Dip 3 recently. the place was 101degrees opposite Lot10. It's a lounge with a drinks list longer than their food menu but i think that's the whole point of it. Classy, attentive staff and got a nice discount from Alex's connections. I always like it being in the service industry, you can always get things at a discounted rate.

It was Allison's (Alex's Sister and the future mother of my children) 24th birthday and it just so happened that Jane (darrrrrrrling!) had come down for Chinese New Year so we called everyone for a birthday bash, Colin and I baked an oreo Cheesecake which to me seemed a bit soft mainly because it was just baked and we threw it into the freezer to set in like 2 hours. But everyone loved it.

Anyways, back to the reunion, there we were, 4 years after we left college, all working all leading different sorts of lives but we came back to chat, gossip, bitch, catch up and introduce everyone to our other halves... say it with me guys "Hi! This is my boyfriend Edmond!" Chui Munn couldn't stop introducing her boyfriend to all new comers whether she knew them or not. He is cute, no I'd say handsome. The boy is handsome with that little nerdy but that's what i like.


Yuhei was there and so was Jenn who was taking wierd and cool pictures.


MJ was there too surrounded by the beautiful girls of DIP3!

Kha Yen brought her boy Mark who was quite cute too. hmm straight guys always seem more hmmm attractive..maybe cause they're so unattainable? Not that I've tried to turn em anyways.

Joseph, my bebe, came a bit late because he had stuff to do, still I was glad he could make it so I could introduce him to my friends. Bebe, you passed the test, they all thought you are cute and a very nice guy, apparently they say he's lucky but I think I'm the lucky one.

Talks went on about the time we skipped class to go eat ice cream and smoke, pretending to not hear our lecturer Ms Anne shouting out our names through the 3rd floor window.

We also talked about going back to Koh Pha Ngan. The original Pha Ngan 5 were there, Yuhei, Kha Yen, MJ, Allison and I. If you haven't been, you should really go there for the full moon party.

We were always thought of at college as the "bad" group, always smoking, always noisy in class but then I thought we were pretty good, in fact, dare I say COOL good?

~grins~

My 2 cents?

We've all grown up, but still the same nice, misunderstood by most except ourselves, people that we've always been. No doubt work has torn us apart but we still remain friends and you know making friends when you're already an adult just makes it different, I feel like my application forms for adult friends are running low and these people are in my "cool" list. I know it's so uncool to say "cool!" but as I said to Jenn who said it's uncool to not have a friendster account,

It's cool to be uncool

Happy Noo Yeah!

Hips gyrating, bodies glistening from the sweat, dancefloor packed, podium swinging.. that was how my new year eve countdown was like. Had a brief stopover with some friends at the Malaysian Ravers Association private party then on to Orange Club for the Prince Fest Playground party.

You could feel the good vibes upon entering the club, you could smell the anticipation of the boys for the coming new year.



Sister was bedecked in sequins, thigh high leather boots and toy police gun set... she looked more fabulous than the drag queens who were desperately trying to look like real women. ~chuckles~

There we were, superman, s&m girl deputy sheriff, Light Saber star wars boy and me, in my laser pointer ray gun and my tee that said "I come in 15 new and exciting positions"



There was so much love in the club. We were mostly loved up dancing and flying to the high powered excellent music provided by DJ's David K and Princess Ann. Excellent music by excellent DJ's, I sometimes wonder why they bother bringing in international DJs if they spin music that suxx eggs.





So, new years resolution this year?



1) To be more magnanimous and not abuse people's trust
2) To join the gym and get rid of my "baby fat"
3) To travel more and widen my view on life
4) To kickstart my independent career as a maker of beautiful cakes
5) To be more of a friend, brother and lover.
6) To eat more fruit
7) To get my life in order.

Lets make this year a fantastic one shall we people?

waZZa is O.U.T

Homeward Bound

Going home, home on the range, where the deers and the antelopes are play,
Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, cause uhm..the deers and the antelopes are GAY!

~chuckles~

As in the immortal words of Michael Buble

Another summer day, has come and gone away,
and I'm still all alone but i wanna go home, let me go home.



Home to where lush green hills, deep dark jungles and blue blue skies reign.
Back to where loved family and friends live.
Back to where Mum is laid to rest.
Back to where skies twinkle with stars and stardust trails from your feet, where you feel light as air,
where you feel grounded.



Kota Kinabalu, here we come, it may only be for a weekend but it's our weekend together baby, and you'll get to meet my family too!

Today

Today I baked a chocolate cake
Today I went to the gym and got a 30day free trial.
Today I moved out of an old situation into the unknown
Today I thank the heavens for great friends and good home-cooked food
Today I look back for the last time
Today for you, Tommorow for me.

Last call at the bar.

There's an old lady mopping up the floor
spills from the whole night gone in a flash
Chairs are upturned onto tables
Ashtrays cleaned and stacked up neatly on the service station
The show's over
All the glitter swept away with the dust
All the excitement flushed down with used tissue paper

It was a ride,
it was drama
it was lust, temptation, utterly selfgiving and severely heart rending

It was good, it was fortifying and fun loving
reckless, responsible, rollercoaster ride.

It's done,
the last drop of drink has been drunk and what's more
the last sips of melted ice slurped dry from the rock glass

Where to now?
A new show? A new bar?
Out on the sidewalk in the cold, in the heat, in the rain?

You choose.
No, I'll choose
I choose liberty, I choose not to choose now.

Change is good...?

Whenever it takes his fancy, that is to say, when the hotel isn't busy and there are no functions, my esteemed excutive chef feels the need to change the menu for new more exciting things. It should come as no surprise to me anymore but I still get flustered by the changes.

There was once when he wanted a change in the coffee house pastry buffet menu. One fine day he just decided that he was bored with all the old items. We were given two days to complete this task. A gargantuan one considering that we have almost 40 different items on the menu. We of course had to work day and night to finish up the items which was further delayed by the fact that we did not have many of the raw ingredients. Being as it may we managed to get everything done, bowing and scraping, stealing and pilfering to get enough cartons of cream and enough number of egg yolks. It was a miraculous transformation. The buffet was beautiful again. ~happy smiles and self-congratulatory pats on the back~ We all breathed a sigh of relief.

After three months, the scene was repeated. This time our ever knowing exec chef decided that the customers were too bored with all the (3month old) items. So it was revamped again. What struck me most is that we were required to do it all at the drop of a hat. Moussess done individually in plastic piping molds with layers of vanilla creme brulee in dark chocolate mousse then glazed with caramel galze and topped off with a single almond macaroon . Then there were the mango trifles which had to be done in miniature glassess complete with sponge sandwiched with raspberry jam and topped with a paperthin layer of lemongrass bavarois (I kid you not).

It's no wonder the pastry staff are always on their toes, it's no wonder that even when the hotel isn't making enough business to pay out overtime wages so the staff are encouraged to go home on time that the pastry staff work from morning til night whipping, tempering, creaming, baking, unmoulding, cutting and glazing the darned desserts.

It's no wonder the cost is so high every few months because we have to order new things, new order lists, new garnishings, new everything.

And don't let me get started on the home made ice cream we have there!

It's a good thing that I love my job, otheriwse I'd be so terrorised by it all that I'd be put off baking another cream puff in my whole life.

Currently, we're looking to change the lobby lounge's menu. Twenty new items by the sounds of it.

~phew~sighs~

Time frame: ....And the chef saw all the desserts that needed to be created and said,
" Let it all be done by tommorow night"

Rev up the machines, crack those eggs, whip that cream into shape, roll up those sleves.

Let the game begin!

New Year Fizz

New years last year was spent trying to get to the city in time, ducking the crowd, standing feet to heel sardine-like in an already overcrowded train...gotta get there, gotta have fun, gotta get drunk, gotta get kissed!

This year it was with a few good friends. Watching camp dvds (Connie & Carla and Trick), taking grand marnier shots from Korean shot glassless and having a prosperity burger meal. It was less than sparkly, less than noisy but it was good.

It felt good

We laughed and joked about old times, we reminisced about college and form six days. We dreamed out loud about the year that is to come. At the cusp of the new year, at the stroke of midnight, we drank to our health and happiness and hugged good intentions into our friends. As the fireworks lit up the sky among the "waaaahhs" and "I like that one!" and unfinished Auld Lang Synes, I began to feel it.

This year is going to be one of big changes for me. Drastic changes. I can almost taste it. I get excited when I think of it. I don't want to lose this feeling. Grab life by the balls!

Enter you! Voila it's Showtime

You brought the house down with a dance and a dum diddy

Enter you! In less then no time

This ugly drama has become pretty!

TwothousandandSIX here I come...

And may this year be your plum blossom year, little darlings!

Have a dream-filled new years!

Birth of a new year..

The new baby's about to come, the head is crowning. God the Father and Mother Nature have named this baby TwothousandandSIX. You can almost hear him cry. For with his birth, it brings many possibilities and hope, you know he will be with us for just one year then he will have a new sibling but that is in the future, we are talking about the now. In three days time, he will make his first cry, joined by millions of people around the world who shout with joy, albeit some drunk joy, that the New year, the new baby is here.


Many reflect, in my family it's a time for forgiveness, a time where old hurts are washed away literally and figuratively. Visions of us kids hiding on the top of the roof pouring ice-cold water down unto unsuspecting adults come to mind. Everyone is wet, everyone is washed clean, tears are diluted and everyone is happy. For the new baby year is here. So much hope. so much love. So much to give...


My new years resolutions

• Bring about world peace *or argue less with people*
• Work smarter to get that promotion
• Re-fine my pastry skills
• Love more.
• Finally get fit! a.k.a lose 10kgs
• Listen more to people without bias or prejudice
• Read more
• Surround myself with genuinely nice people.
• Be more tolerant, less a slave to gossip and more a friend to empathy.

Happy New Year Duckies. 2005 has been a rollercoaster for me.

Fun, guilty, exciting, excruciating, used, envigorating and eye opening.

Come new years let us make it a point to be kinder and better souls.

Not so perfect

Love, ah me.

Being in love is the greatest feeling on earth. Like you didn't know that. You know it. The fuzzy wuzzy funnies in your tummy. The I-can't-wait-to-touch-him-again feeling. Being in love makes you do irrational things. You'd buy him seven pairs of socks just so he's got one for every day of the week. You'd fake an illness for a hot session in bed. You'd tell your friends you've gone back to your hometown when you're actually in bed together for the whole time then tell your workmates how fantastically boring it was back there it was that you didn't know why you balik kampung in the first place.

Being in love makes you lie. ~chuckles~ makes you steal time, cheat death and run up a thousand dollar phone bill.






Then the rhythm sets in, you're home, he's not. He's home, you're too tired to layan him. The laundry piles up and you wonder where the heck your mad money went to. The very things that made you crazy for him is driving you mad. The way he walks, the way he talks in front of friends, the way he always wants things for him on his terms.

"You're in love, that's the way, it should be, and I want you to be happy...."

You get used to each other then the"in" part of being in love drops out and hopefully you still love each other. Love each other enough to be together and live out your dreams. Love each other enough to look past the not-so-perfect things you and him have intrinsically. Love each other enough to be truthful to each other. Sometimes love each other enough to let go.

"What is love? baby don't hurt me, no more..."

Though things are not-so-perfect, he still loves you. You still love him. Maybe you should brave the storm together because you've got each other bad or good, weak or strong, rich or poor.

It's a good thing that they lgalised gay marriages in the UK, then people would think twice about just breaking it and going on a sex-spree because "it's not like we're married or anything" . This thing is called responsibility. Taxes, paying the rent, mopping up vomit, picking up the dirty underwear, cleaning out the sink, buying the groceries...

Maybe I'm just a traditionalist... my parents don't believe in divorce, neither do I.....



Maybe I'm just in denial because I am being used.



Maybe I just need a good fuck to get over it all.



Maybe I just need him.....

Meanwhile I'll just hang in there.

~chuckles~

~sighs~

Do you miss him?

Amidst the going outs and energy-draining workloads which is the Hari-raya Rumble and the Christmas Tumble. Underneath pounds of christmas cookies, heaped bowlfuls of royal icing to make the gingerbread houses glisten like a winter wonderland. Between the hurried washing of week-old laundry and washing of day old flatware and the constant urgings to go out and shop for new things for myself. Do I miss him?


I haven't got the time.



No




I don't think so..




Time away indeed.




Loneliness is a state of mind. And a state that one delves in when one's physical being isn't drained and/or in constant excitement. Neither really applies to one. Which brings me to question... can I do without? Should I do without? Could I do without?



Love is really fickle..emotions are trickier than tempering chocolate on a humid day... You check on it, you stir it up, you hope that the molecules crystalises to a stable form then it'll all be glossy, strong and well.... tempered well.



I have no time, I have less emotions these days.



I just wanna be with me.



I haven't been in a long time.