Dreams..

A dream is a wish your heart makes,
when you're fast asleep,
in dreams you can lose your heartaches
whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come shining through
No matter how your heart is feeling i
f you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true

I've been having dreams lately, dreams of getting promoted, dreams of opening my own business, dreams of settling my debts, dreams of living the simple life, dreams of living a fabulous life. Of all these I would settle for a life that is happy and contented but knowing human nature, we would want more.

Someone told me his wishes and dreams in the next ten years, most of which include material possessions (new car, new phone, new washing machine, new house) or the upgrading of the aforementioned material possessions. If you ask me, I'm pretty happy with what I have and pretty contented with the fact that I can't have certain things. Does that mean I've become so comfortable, so boxed in, so blase about my life? I believe that I'm an over achiever with an serious case of procrastination. So this means I am happy putting off getting that new laptop, or doing the basic costings for my business.

I have dreams. Just because I don't tell them to the world doesn't mean they're less real.

I guess maybe you've got to share your dreams with someone because you can't go it alone all the time.



...and he said, "If a better dream comes along, why not dream it?" ~ Marc Gareth

Chocolate moments..

Dark chocolate, thick lucious oozing velvety massess of dark chocolate. Dreams are made of these. At least my dreams for the past few days.

I've been dreaming about a rich rum soaked raisin chocolate cake, covered with photo-finish shiny to the hilt dark chocolate glaze.

I've been dreaming about layers of praline-filled puff pastry encasing smooth whipped cream and devestatingly rich dark chocolate ganache.

I've been dreaming about light airy cloudlike swirls of dark chocolate mousse with khalua infused whipped cream.

~sighs happily~

I need a chocolate fix.

People dream in colour but my dreams were almost sepia with just muted creams and browns strongly contrasting the deep dark chocolate of cocoa.

Do you dream in chocolate?

Last call at the bar.

There's an old lady mopping up the floor
spills from the whole night gone in a flash
Chairs are upturned onto tables
Ashtrays cleaned and stacked up neatly on the service station
The show's over
All the glitter swept away with the dust
All the excitement flushed down with used tissue paper

It was a ride,
it was drama
it was lust, temptation, utterly selfgiving and severely heart rending

It was good, it was fortifying and fun loving
reckless, responsible, rollercoaster ride.

It's done,
the last drop of drink has been drunk and what's more
the last sips of melted ice slurped dry from the rock glass

Where to now?
A new show? A new bar?
Out on the sidewalk in the cold, in the heat, in the rain?

You choose.
No, I'll choose
I choose liberty, I choose not to choose now.

Let go, don't be scared.

Dreams kept bringing you back to me

Like the forgotten words to a song

They keep haunting me

But now I know to dream in reality

Now even in my waking hours

you're just a dream to me.

I reckon that letting go is liberating. Even when you grip onto a bunch of beautiful roses so hard, the thorns make you bleed. Letting go releases all the pent up feelings in you. Letting go frees your hands and mind to hold and behold a host of other pleasures that had you transfixed before this. Holding on is one thing but hanging for dear life when the lifeline (or loveline) is as fragile as the camels' back just before the last straw hit it is, well, just a waste of resources, energy and time.

So now I don't hang on. I don't weep for lost sundays alone, I don't think of being alone as being lonely. It's empowering.

~chuckles~

I used to be scared of letting go, maybe scared that if I did, no one would be there to catch me. No safety net, no one to rely on, no one to put a band-aid on my wounds and kiss my boo-boos away. We forget that we could rely on ourselves. You, me... we, in ourselves are a great source of comfort for our own selves. So let go... young hearts, run free!

"Sometimes you wake up,

Sometimes the fall kills you.

And sometimes,

when you fall,

you fly."

- Todd Faber

Fables & Reflections,

"Fear of Falling"

The Sandman Series

Neil Gaiman

it was a dream that i had..

it was a pixelated entity

black on the inside

colours of every spectrum on its fringes

it threatened with confusion, lovelessness and fear

it wanted sex sex SEX

it wanted all of me

all the time

i gave it my all

all except my dreams

my hopes my happiness

my joie de virve

last night i let it go

today i am still me

the me whom i know

the me whom i care and cherish

*last night I finally won against it. Now my dreams are mine again

here 'tis

So here 'tis. My own piece of the cyberworld. I guess that means I've finally made it to through the ranks. My life online, a short summary ;

1) I was an internet addict ever since I got netscape1.0
2) I became a chatroom-o-holic shortly thereafter
3) I had four different email addressess running at once, just to compartmentalise my friends
4) I had a "homepage" ~chuckles~ ain't that rich? It's still up an running if ya wanna see pictures of me 10 years ago
5) I have screen names/numbers at ICQ, internet messenger, yahoo messenger, ringo, sms.ac, glimpse.com, asianfriendfinfer.com and the list goes on
6) And now this, juniorsplaceintheworld.blogspot.com

No fanfare, no fireworks but no worries. The internet has been good to me. I've used it and abused it to my will and isn't that what the Gods of the Web intended to? Freewill and free speech unless you get caught bad-mouthing the govenment or selling child pornography.

I've been having these dreams lately, I'm between consciousness and deep sleep cycle. I remember colours. I always remember to remember the colours in my dreams. I've heard that it meant you're in love but I've been dreamkeeping for a long time now. More often than not, it's been in colour.

Back to the dreams, I'm asleep on my bed alone (in my dream) and someone or something is scaring me. I don't get scared that easily. But in the dream I am shuddering in my sleep. I wake momentarily and get lulled back into sleep again. I can feel my body shivering from the feeling (this is my dream still) and I really wake up and I still feel it. The deep profound feeling of being scared. I recite prayers to keep the feelings at bay. I know I'm dreaming in my dreams and I try to look for what is making me feel this way but I can't. Tonight I will.....